"Your Body Is Letting Me Know" – Helping Preschoolers Begin Emotional Learning & Regulation

Let's face it, emotions emerge first in the body before young children possess the vocabulary or cognitive skills to articulate them. Babies cry, toddlers tantrum. For preschoolers, the journey toward emotional learning and regulation begins with understanding these bodily signals. This foundational skill is essential for building self-awareness and eventually mastering self-regulation.

Using the phrase "Your body is letting me know" as a tool can transform how parents, caregivers, and educators support children in identifying, processing, and managing their emotions. Let's explore how early emotional learning shapes children’s ability to navigate their world, enhancing their overall well-being and developmental trajectory.

Understanding Early Emotional Regulation

What Is Emotional Regulation, and Why Does It Matter?

Emotional regulation refers to the ability to manage and respond to emotional experiences in a balanced way. For preschoolers, this skill is still in early development, as their brains are actively forming connections in areas responsible for impulse control, self-reflection, and emotional awareness (in the prefrontal cortex).

Why is emotional regulation so important? Children who develop strong regulation skills are better equipped to manage stress, form meaningful relationships, and adapt to their environment. Poor emotional regulation in early childhood can lead to challenges in behaviour, learning, and social interaction, often requiring extra support. Some children will need extra support due to neurodevelopmental conditions or disabilities, but through using simple strategies with ALL children, we can work towards early emotional recognition and regulation development for all.

The Developmental Stage of Preschoolers

Preschoolers are learning to navigate a complex emotional landscape. They often feel emotions intensely but lack the ability to articulate them clearly or manage their responses effectively. This is where early intervention matters—helping them build the capacity to understand and name their emotions. Generally this begins by connecting feelings to physical cues, in order to build self-awareness. For instance, noticing that stomping feet might indicate frustration or jumping up and down reflects excitement provides children with tools to make sense of their experiences. Often this is best done through avenues such as reading picture books, where the body signals can be discussed.

Making their own body signals clearer, through reading picture books and discussing character's body signals.

The Role of Body Signals

The body is an incredible communicator of emotion, especially for young children. Physical reactions such as trembling hands, flushed cheeks, or loud sighs often signal emotional states before children are able to verbalise them. Recognising and validating these cues is the first step in emotional regulation.

Flagging or signposting these signals with young children, firstly requires being an astute observer, but then to follow through with age-appropriate language and coaching. Neuroscience research shows that when adults consistently respond to physical cues with empathy and language, children learn to form connections between their emotions and bodily sensations, fostering self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Recognising Body Cues in Preschoolers

Physical Signs of Emotions in Young Children

Young children express their emotions physically before they understand them cognitively. Some common physical cues include:

·         Clenched fists or jaws when frustrated or angry.

·         Wiggly movements or bouncing when excited.

·         Drooped shoulders or a lowered gaze when sad.

·         Covering ears or shielding eyes when overstimulated.

Outward, physical signs, giving away internal emotional states

For preschoolers, adults identifying these cues is critical to understanding how a child is processing their environment. These observations guide intervention strategies, ensuring that children are supported in a way that aligns with their unique needs.

The Importance of Adult Observation and Co-Regulation

Children often rely on caregivers, teachers, and therapists to model emotional awareness and regulation. Adult observation and intervention are crucial for helping children navigate overwhelming emotions. Co-regulation—a process where adults provide emotional support and guidance—creates a safe space for children to calm down and learn self-regulation techniques.

Occupational therapists frequently use and teach co-regulation strategies, such as calming sensory tools, soothing tones, or structured routines, to help children process their emotions. These approaches not only provide immediate relief but also build resilience and coping mechanisms in the long term.

The Phrase "Your Body Is Letting Me Know"

This simple, yet powerful phrase becomes a bridge between observation and emotional learning.

Here are some examples of how it can be used effectively:

• "Your body is letting me know you're feeling frustrated—you’re stomping your feet." This acknowledges the emotion and validates the child’s experience.

• "Your body is letting me know you're excited—you’re jumping up and down!" This helps children connect joy to their physical expressions.

• "Your body is letting me know you're feeling nervous—you’re wringing your hands." Encouraging reflection on complex emotions like anxiety helps children know that you see them, and that it's OK to feel difficult things, and that their body is helping them process through action.

When adults use this phrase consistently, children begin to understand their physical state is linked to emotional state, and that this is as manageable and relatable, fostering emotional growth and self-regulation.

Step-by-step, emotional development is fostered through small repeated actions aimed at increasing emotional recognition, and then regulation.

How This Phrase Supports Emotional Development

Bringing Awareness

One of the most profound benefits of using "Your body is letting me know" is that it brings immediate awareness to children’s physical responses to emotions. For example, noticing that clenched fists signal frustration helps children connect their body’s reactions to their internal feelings. This awareness is the foundation of emotional regulation.

Connecting Feelings to Words

Preschoolers often struggle to verbalise their emotions, which can lead to frustration or withdrawal. By naming the emotion and describing the physical cues, adults help children bridge the gap between sensations and vocabulary. This process empowers children to express their feelings: "I’m stomping my feet because I’m upset."

Encouraging Reflection

Teaching children to pause and process their emotions instead of reacting impulsively is key to long-term regulation.Try using reflection tools like visual aids or calming corners to support this. When paired with the phrase "Your body is letting me know," these tools encourage mindfulness and self-awareness.

Creating Supportive Environments for Regulation

Creating an environment conducive to emotional regulation is essential.

The team at Outcomes Therapy recommend strategies such as:

·         Designing calm corners with sensory tools like weighted blankets or noise-canceling headphones.

·         Providing visual aids that illustrate emotions and corresponding physical cues.

·         Incorporating routine check-ins where children can share their feelings and body signals.

These supportive spaces help children feel safe, understood, and equipped to manage their emotions effectively.

Visual aids and check-ins can be a useful way of working towards body-brain connection.

When to Seek Further Support

Signs a Child May Need Extra Help

While emotional regulation develops over time, some children may experience challenges that require further intervention. Signs include:

·         Frequent meltdowns or extreme emotional reactions.

·         Difficulty calming down or self-soothing.

·         Avoidance of certain environments or activities due to overstimulation.

Occupational therapists, speech therapists, and child psychologists play a vital role in supporting children who struggle with regulation. Their expertise helps guide families toward strategies and resources tailored to children’s needs.

"Your body is letting me know" is a gentle and effective tool for fostering emotional learning in preschoolers. It serves as a bridge between observation and awareness, helping children connect physical sensations to emotions while encouraging reflection and self-regulation. As parents, educators, and therapists, using this phrase consistently can transform a child’s ability to navigate their emotions.

Remember, emotional regulation is not an innate skill—it’s developed through patience, practice, and connection. Every child progresses at their own pace, and small moments of validation and support create a solid foundation for future growth.